Things Husbands shouldn’t say to their pregnant wifes

As you all know by now, Mr.C is not the sort to tiptoe around what he thinks, and generally puts his mouth into action before even consulting with his brain. After 12 years together and coming up to our one year wedding anniversary I am well trained in dealing with this.
Our relationship has always been…. shall we say passionate. Both of us know what we like and how we like it, if you are coming to our house don’t expect not to participate in a debate between us, you will be forced to pick a side. Our ‘debates’ never go any further than that, 10 minutes later we will be laughing and joking about it, usually because I Google the answer to whatever we are discussing and I’m always right, of course. Our friends think we would make a perfect reality show ‘Keeping up with the Clarkes’ here we come.
He has put his foot in it many a times during my pregnancy, however I know and anyone that knows him find it hilarious, luckily I am not the sensitive type.
Have a chuckle at Mr. C’s top moments.
1. “Andi, do you still find me sexually attractive?” Without Pause or even a glace up, “No, sorry”
The fact that he didn’t even need to look up and double check was great!!!!!! I was reading his ‘fathers guide to pregnancy at the time’ (Someone might as well) and told him that a lot of men find their wives more attractive during pregnancy- personally this made us both cringe, so at least we are on the same page.
2. Whilst on our Babymoon, he decides to go on a trek up and down a cliff side to find a Secret Beach and Hippy Caves (this won’t be surprising for anyone that knows him!) I of course stayed on the beach. During his 6 hour journey, without a hat or sun cream, he got burned (diddums) Back in our room, I accidently brushed past his sun burn prompting him to ask ‘Why do you have to be so FAT?’ Immediately he knew his mistake and couldn’t stop apologising, I actually found it quite funny that he let that slip but I did milk if for the rest of the day.
3. “I meet a really nice Spanish family on my trek, a girl called Lucy was telling me all about the place, she was with her Mum and Dad ” I thought Awww that’s nice that he spoke to the locals until he added “oh by the way, Lucy was totally naked, age 21 and works in Pacha.” Apparently he didn’t look, “her dad was there” Ahhh that’s why!!
4. “Do I really need to be there during Labour?” – No explanation needed
5. Lastly this is something he said before pregnancy but slightly worrying “Do you have to pull that face when you are lifting?” All I can say is Good luck with my ‘pushing a watermelon through a grape face hubby”
I love my Husband to bits and we have had an amazing first year of marriage. He is always helping friends and family and he has really made our first home perfect, without moaning about the vintage floral decoration. He can’t wait for Baby C to arrive and I know he will make a brilliant Daddy.
Happy 1 year Anniversary Mr. Clarke… xxx

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