Everyone parents differently, I believe there is no right way or wrong way, what works for one parent might not work for another, that’s not even taking into account what works for baby. I have a lot of friends that are having babies or have had babies so I love finding out how everyone deals with their new babies and picking up pieces of advice and tips from each of them, it’s also great for me that a few of my friends have had or due to have babies after me so hopefully I am able to pass on anything that I have found helpful. Call me mean but a friend of mine also had a c-section due to her lovely little lady being breech too, I’m quite glad I have someone to talk to about it and hopefully I have been able to give her some advice on how I coped following the surgery.
With the wanted advice comes that unwanted advice, I know things were done so differently when I was a baby, mums of that era and before then weren’t told about the dangers that are drilled into us now and of course the advice is constantly changing so it’s hard to know what way is the right way. Everyone knows best! I have three siblings and my mum was told to put us to sleep all different ways, on our fronts, our sides and backs! Smoking wasn’t the huge no no it is now, Obvioulsy it’s always been horrible to smoke during pregnancy however I would really find someone smoking during pregnancy hard to accept however I know 30 years ago people didn’t look twice to at a mother to be smoking, we then have the old saying ‘didn’t do me any harm’ that may be true but we know better now and we know the implications and the consequences of smoking during pregnancy.
Sometimes we may be a little over cautious, for example all over the news at the moment is new research that suggests swaddling is detrimental to babies hip development and can cause overheating! Now Albie has never liked to be swaddled or even have blankets on so our gro-bag has been really helpful, but I know that swaddling has been around for donkeys years and really provides a comfort to some babies, the new advice is to swaddle if necessary but leave the legs loose enough for babies to kick them about.
Sometimes it’s hard to listen to advice that you might not agree with, I tend to just give the ‘ohh ok, that’s interesting’ rather than over sensitive ‘don’t tell me how to raise my child’ Luckily for me the advice I have been given by everyone has on the whole been marvelous and I am so grateful to have friends to turn to. I have a good mix of parenting styles to ask about, from mummies following strict routines to those that take a more relaxed approach, neither works any better than the other, like I said what works for you is most important, I fall somewhere in the middle, we have a nighttime routine implemented, however during the day we pretty much have no routine, Albie naps when he wants to and lets me know every three hours he wants feeding. If you don’t have any mummy friends I would really suggest going along to some mother and baby groups not just for the advice but for the company, it’s good to have other people to moan to about your partners not doing the bottles and the night feeds!
How have you handled advice? Do you find it helpful or would you rather find your own way?