How to prepare for a baby….

Joke… there is no preparation!!

Today at my real job we got talking about preparing for a baby as there are a couple of new arrivals due shortly, it made me think about something I read when I was pregnant so I thought I would create my own little adaption … 

Ten things you should try before even contemplating having a baby…

1) Ask your partner to chuck food at you, cereal, fruit, sandwiches, anything goes! Don’t change your clothes before you leave the house, don’t unpick the food from you hair, you just don’t have the time. (I once left the house with poo on my face, yes thats right, poo! and I wasn’t even bothered when someone told me “oh yeah it’s poo, we had an issue this morning”)

2) Pick up your iPhone, now drop it in a sink full of water, a baby’s dribble will pretty much have the same effect.

3) It’s Christmas, put the kettle on and prepare to put your feet up.. take a pew… then get up from your seat x 10, wait for your tea to go cold and then drink it… same goes for all food, but throw some on the floor just for good measure, you will never eat unwatched again.

4) Read the same paragraph of your book ten times, drop your kindle on your head, and then start that same paragraph again the next night.

5) Find the most annoying alarm clock IN THE WORLD, ask your partner to hide it set it off at varying intervals throughout the night.

6) Chuck some a lot of money off of a bridge and cheerfully wave bah bye!

7) Hang up mid conversation with a friend and never return her call, she might as well get used to it too!

8) Leave the house laden with at least 3 fully packed bags, get to the car, come back into the house.. repeat 5 x before making your journey

9) Smear Jam up your newly painted walls, draw a crayon stickman next to it, add a hand print and then attempt to convince your other half you’re artistic.

10) Take a 60 second shower, during which you must wash your hair, shave your legs and wash yourself and be grateful you got a whole 60 seconds! Plenty of time !!!

 

 

 

 

 

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